Letters to LL: “How Can I Enjoy Events When Newbies Are RUINING The Scene?”

I’m getting really sick of all the newcomers in the doofing community! I feel like they are violating our values and morals and it’s definitely affecting how I feel at an event. Help!? – Anon, VIC

Hey reader,

Thanks so much for the great question – it’s a powerful one! A lot of people can identify with your concern.

There is gold on both sides of the coin here, so let’s explore the issue.

On one side: We do have a very strong spirit of inclusion and acceptance within the community. This attitude has been a cornerstone of the scene from the very beginning, and it continues to play a big part in how the community evolves and grows. Many of us wouldn’t be a part of the scene today if it weren’t for this strong ethos, and there are definitely some events where both organisers and attendees prioritise positive values.

On the other side: As the scene continues to grow rapidly and exponentially, it has been hard to keep other (just as important) values and morals at the forefront of the collective consciousness. These include:  Mindfulness, health, connection, dance, peace, awareness and open heartedness, just to name a few. When you attend two or three events where the overall energy is off, it can seem as if there’s a trend away from these morals. And, from all accounts, it does seem the scene has slowly shifted into a much more party/drug fueled motivation than ever before. Many doofers – old and new – view our events as an escape from reality, or a good excuse to get fucked up. They’ve either forgotten or were never taught the importance of maintaining the overall energy of the gathering.

So, what do we do with this info? It’s good to have a well-balanced view of the scenario, but that doesn’t exactly tell you how to deal with the problem at hand. It seems like there really isn’t much we can do about the changing atmosphere, right?


I can see two really great ways to overcome the issue you speak of:

1 – Step into a place of setting a good example and loving guidance: If you relate to many people and you can hold a strong energetic container around your own energy, then you have an opportunity to share the wisdom that really does need to be passed along to newcomers in the community (as well as old timers who may have forgotten the way).

There is a fine art in perfecting this role though, if you do decide to take it on. Make sure you aren’t draining yourself dry by sharing with a brick wall, and always keep yourself in check to make sure you don’t run rampant in spiritual ego/preachy ways. Even if you don’t see an immediate change, every person who you plant a seed in is a victory for the community.

2 – Choose the experience you desire: Setting a very clear intention about what you want to experience at an event will go a very long way towards actually getting what you need. If you want to be around people who are upholding the values and morals of the community, then make sure you are calling that in, that you are listening to your instinct and flow and not spending time with anyone that doesn’t make you feel wonderful. If you can keep connected to your deepest truth, then it is easy for you to only come into contact with people who really resonate with you and what you want to experience.

This doesn’t mean you completely ignore that munted chick coming up to your face. You just gently redirect the energy and move away from it.  This approach is about being okay with the dickheads and choosing to find the amazing people.

Finally, I would say to carefully pick and choose the events you attend. Who holds the event and who is likely to come along can make a big difference to the vibe!

I hope this has helped you, and that you can start to really enjoy these events in a new way!  

Much love,

Lady Laura

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