I Tried A “Foot Detox” So You Don’t Have To

I’ve found many ways of dealing with various illnesses of the mind, over the years.

Hallucinations induced by severe lack of sleep due to stress, severe depression, and of course anxiety. There are a couple of other things in there too, but that isn’t what I’m on about. In my search for cures, or rather, in my desperate scrabble to feel like I could Human again, I’ve tried all sorts of remedies and coping strategies.

So I thought I’d document a few.

The “foot detox” process

Today I tried the “ion cleanse”. Basically you stick your feet in hot water with a device that emits some sort of charge, allegedly drawing toxins out of the body via magnetic field. Or something. I don’t really understand, but judging by the claims (Detoxifies the liver! Purges yeast!) I’m going to go out on a limb and say it isn’t particularly fact-based.

Whatever. I was there. It came with the massage. I had a spare half hour. I tried it.

Now look. It was relaxing sitting there with soothing pan flutes playing and essential oil aromas ignoring the world go by was calming. But no more so than sitting in a cafe with a coffee, which by the way, is about $35 cheaper for the half hour. My feet do feel very clean, though.

I didn’t get to watch the water change colour as my system detoxified via my feet. Although the man handed me a chart with explanations of what the colour changes meant (red = blood disease!). My foot water (eww) only turned very slightly yellowish (apparently a sign of a possible UTI). No worrying red and no exciting black tar looking colour either. Oh well.

The verdict

I won’t be trying it again.

However, if it’s a nice and calming time out that you need, and you don’t like the idea of someone touching you (massage), you do get the spa experience complete with Muzak and mindlessness, which might be just the ticket.

That said, I rate this treatment 3/10 on the effectiveness scale.

This review was written by Lenore Pople. When she’s not penning her blog Reflections Of An Optimist, you can find Lenore running, studying the criminal mind, or wrangling small people.

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