How To Identify An Undercover Cop At A Festival

We asked how to spot an undercover police officer, you answered.

We, uh, don’t recommend the use of any of these detection methods, nor do we vouch for their effectiveness.

A “hands on” approach

1. “Just run around naked till some dude tackles you.”

They can’t arrest us all!

2. “By the taste.”

Unless the cops look like this, you will definitely get arrested for that.

3. “I have actually seen someone yelling ‘I need police! Where’s the police?!’ and the under-covers outed themselves. The person didn’t need them, just wanted to test it…”

You approximately 4 minutes later.

4. “Just go up to them with a backpack full of Coca Cola and ask if they want some coke.”

Bonus points if you do smart ass Jeff Goldblum finger guns after.

5. “Go for a quick waist grab and see if they judo flip ya.”

Best done on grass this one.

6. “If they look suspicious try sell them a baggie of sand and you should get confirmation.”

Just uh, make sure your backpack doesn’t contain any actual drugs.

Police fashion 101

7. “Sneans, a polo shirt and a white pair of Oakleys…”

Dead giveaway.

8. “Undercovers are more difficult to tell, they’re usually pretty good. Plain clothes police officers on the other hand, which is what people usually see at festivals: Dad clothes, large chunky things on their waist, hidden underneath a slightly baggy shirt (handcuffs, radio, weapons).”

That awkward moment when everyone just knows.

9. “NSW police is sponsored by Quiksilver.”

NSW Police training video.

10. “True undercovers can have tats, dreads, be easy going and friendly, be very young or look young. Can be a hot looking chick in doof clothes. If you get done dealing drugs at a big festival these days its because your number is up.”

It’s all fun and games til you realise there’s a wire in those pits.

11. “Seen a lot of young, attractive female officers a Sydney event and they legit looked 20… Only knew they were cops coz I saw them arresting someone.”

Who knew young attractive females could be law enforcement officers?

12. “Dad clothes.”

Exhibit A.

The banter test

13. “Ask them, ‘Whats the sit rep boys?’ and watch their response.”

This is good too.

14. “When they ask for “Eccies” and/or are wearing really clean shoes.”

Later on at the operation debrief.

15. “‘Got any capsules?’”

Incriminating accessories

16. “Handcuffs hanging out the back of their jeans (actually saw this at Mardi Grass once!)”

Hey! What happens in Nimbin stays in Nimbin!

17. “They normally have an obnoxious watch.”

Who needs to know the time at a festival? Suspicious!

18. “Speed dealer sunnies and they won’t accept your offer of free morning time drugs.”

Deep undercover.

Watch & learn

19. “A little less obvious but you can usually spot them if you’re up in above ground seating areas. At [redacted] last year from the canopies you’d see them constantly as pairs separating, looping around and walking back to roughly the same spot together before moving to slightly different areas of the dance floor.”

Also watch out for hand signals, binoculars and fake noses.

20. “They generally just stick out looking awkward all event. Saw one chilling in a folding chair on the side of the dance floor most of Saturday night at one event.”

Actual vibe.

The best way to tell an undercover from a doofer…

22. “They’ve taken a shower sometime in the last month.”

Need I say more?

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