“Music Festivals Are Full Of Druggies” Says Man Who Spent Australia Day Vomiting Beer Into Garden

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A longtime Ipswich resident who spent Australia Day in hospital after becoming paralytically drunk is warning young people about the dangers of taking drugs at music festivals.  

Gary Walters, 46, told reporters he drank 14 XXXX Golds by midday because needed to “block out the entitled whinging” of his 21-year-old, left-leaning nephew.

“The boy was saying people are going to get intoxicated regardless, so the least we could do is standardise dosages in case they needed medical attention,” Mark Green, a family friend who was present at the gathering, said.

“Gaz was 27.5 frothies in by then, and we all knew his opinions were about to bubble to the surface. Poor kid caught the brunt of it, some even ended up on his shirt,” Mr Green said.

Walters is reported to have had a cooling down period between chunders, which consisted of 4 runs in the backyard cricket game before becoming enraged again by his nephews three-hour-old comments.

“He just couldn’t let it go,” Green explained.

Paramedics were then called to the scene of the veggie patch horror and rushed Walters to Ipswich Hospital at approximately 6pm on Saturday night.

After receiving a publicly funded stomach pump, Walters resumed his long-weekend festivities in intensive care, surrounded by loved ones, beer in hand.

When asked to comment on the happenings of the Saturday gathering, Walters said, “Ice. They’re all addicted to bloody ice and our community pays for it.”  


This article was written by Peta Petidis, a community radio presenter from Melbourne who can be found getting down to all the bangers at northside gigs.  When she’s not getting loose, Peta likes to nap.

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