47 Of The Nastiest, Craziest Things People Have Eaten At A Doof (With GIFs)

Dreamland Magazine Shop www.dreamlandmagazineshop.com

We asked what the worst thing you’d ever eaten at a doof was.

Now we wish we hadn’t.

Don’t read this article while you’re eating. You’ll either spit take, vomit, or both.


Mate, that is uh, not a food.


1. I was tripping balls and bit into a rubber ball thinking it was granny smith apple.

What was that? A mango?

2. My own tongue/cheeks.

It’s all good, I didn’t need that mouth lining anyway.

3. Dirt.

If it makes you feel any better, this idiot wasn’t even on drugs.

4. Spliff ash tower fell directly into my throat as I was laying down smoking. I inhaled in shock. Almost died I reckon.

She’d totally be the one to do this too.

5. A tab with no LSD.

When you realise that drug dealer lied.

6. I thought the ground around me looked like it could be made into tea. It couldn’t.

Watching your mate actually do this.

7. A ciggie. Very chewy.

Watching your mate actually do this.

8. I ate a cricket on ketamine to prove a point… I don’t think there was actually a point to prove.

This GIF seems appropriate.

9. Mud on a lollipop 🍭 with a mate. Sharing it and dipping it in the mud between each swap hahaha.

Like this, but with more parasites.

10. I accidentally ate lavender oil lol.

It’s cool. Say a Doterrorist made you do it.

Someone flunked home economics.

11. Sand-coated snags. Crunchy AF.

Seemed like a good idea at the time.

12. Made pasta in the dark. Didn’t see the huge beetles that were sitting in my bowl. Poured pasta on top of them, stirred it around and chowed down… I still remember their spiny legs moving around in my mouth.

Knockin’ em back like this guy.

13. 3 days in, finally coming down we realised we really needed to eat. Due to altitude (French alps doof) and lack of gas on our burner that was too small for the pan we never managed to boil water, so cooked pasta in lukewarm water for ages. It became like a weird wheat cake, we ate it anyway with tomato sauce and a can of tuna because we had to survive and had no money for the shops or the energy to take a shuttle down to the valley to go to the ATM.

What happens in the Alps, stays in the Alps…

14. Special mention goes to making tea while munted. Couldn’t figure out why it was strange. Poured it out… made it again… still wrong. Third cup of tea I realised I’m adding salt, not sugar.

Exactly.

15. When emptying the Esky at the end of festival I found half a block of cheese that had been sitting in the water for the whole week. I ate the whole thing in three bites. It was delicious.

Actual footage of this fuckin’ guy.

16. Cheese rolled in dirt…Ash cheese, dirt cheese, same same.

Is it though?

17. Lollipop that was stuck to the floor of my mate’s Ford Falcon. Who knows how long it had been there.

Worse than this IMO.

18. My 3-day-old warmed-up-in-the-glovebox sausage roll. I thought would be fine to eat.

This story resonates on so many levels.

Dry mouth? Tripping balls? Best not put these things in ya gob…


19. Tried eating some Smiths Original chips after I’d been grinding my teeth for hours. Extremely unpleasant experience.

Like, not on par with heroin withdrawal, but still quite painful.

20. That popping rock candy while I was tripping the fuck out… so fucked.

I’m 100% going to start handing this out at doofs.

21. Peanut butter. That stuff just doesn’t go down well with dry mouth.

Actual footage.

22. Burrito from Trippy Taco whilst I was on LSD. The beans were crawling around like maggots but I couldn’t stop eating it cos it was so good and I hadn’t eaten in days. Traumatising experience, great fucken burrito…

I’m gonna do you a favour and not put up the search results for maggot GIFs.

23. Handful of BBQ Shapes when my mouth was dry as fuck. Chewin’ for like 30 mins getting nowhere.

… then you see your mate across the d-floor with a water bottle.

24. Kofta balls with chilli sauce thrust upon me by my bestie while I was in an advanced state of induced synesthesia. Was not a culinary experience I wish to repeat.

… and that’s how I wound up in hell.

25. A big spoonful of Nutella whilst I had dry mouth. Worst ever. So sticky.

Instant regret.

26. 4 day old pita bread with peanut butter, my mouth was stuck together for 3 hours. Turned into a bad trip when you think you’re never going to open your mouth again…

I guess this is my life now.

The lengths we go to for a high…


27. Sip of a can of bourbon used as an ashtray, but c’mon who hasn’t done that?

In the words of J-Roc, “It happened to me, it could happen to you.”

28. A couple of heaped teaspoons of dried and ground mushrooms in about a cup of lime juice with lime soft drink to fill the drink bottle up. It was just pure lime –  thick liquid until the bottom and then I had to chew down lime flavoured chunky mushrooms. I did it though, I made it all the way through.

99% sure this is the actual guy. Look at him.

29. 3 pills after pickin’ them outta me spew.

“Waste not, want not” is what dad always said.

30. Someone gave me wax saying it was gonna make me high, made me spew….

Five to eight seconds after the chewing begins.

31. An old mushie sautéed on the dash of a car during a 30 degree day.

I have serious questions about what this person thinks constitutes “sautéeing”

That’s how you die.


32. Friends made 2 minute noodles with diesel from an identical water bottle.

Yep.

33. At a small doof near San remo half the party got sick after eating spitted meat that’d sat on a table overnight after spinning over no fire for who knows how long. 10 minutes after carving it the side ruptured while it was still spinning and it oozed green pus into the coals… so glad I was vego back then.

Like this, but, everyone.

34. Either a handful of hot sand or a completely raw sausage straight outta the pack.

I can’t even.

35. Raw chicken sausages.

Dear God I hope you don’t work in hospitality.

36. Weed-stuffed doof chook on a spit slow roasted for 12 hours over a half-assed, dying fire fueled only with D60 by people who were unfortunately more cooked than that chook ever got.That poor dog [who found and ate the chicken].

37. Yeah, I ate a scorpion at one doof. Wasn’t as bad as ya think.

This just sounds like something Will Ferrell would say.

Less-than-appetising encounters…


38. Probably the ex, who has time for food eating?

… good one.

39. Stinky 3 day wook puss.

I’m deeply uncomfortable with this image.

40. Cheesy dick.

Unpleasant.

41. I forgot her name.

Look out, we got a player up in here.

42. Some girls ass on the 3rd night…

Exactly.

Who even raised you?


43. Someone’s spit in a VB with alphabet spaghettis.

Judging you.

44. Walked into the bush for a piss one day ‘n’ found a half-eaten birthday cake just chilling by a tree. Wasn’t the worst thing I ate, but a strange find.

Living life to the fullest. Probably hasn’t heard of “cake-sitting” though.

45. I watched a dude walk over to my friend and stuck his finger up her nose… yep, he picked it and ate it…lol. One should not eat ket…. was shocking, yet funny.

Actually though.

46. Fruit loops I found in a big pile of rubbish?

What are you, a fucking raccoon?

47. Once our friend was convinced by some horrible friends of his to eat the residual fat and oil that solidifies in the pan after cooking sausages. And who says mates at doofs don’t look out for each other?

Your future, dude.

To learn more about food poisoning, read the Australian Institute of Food Safety’s “Ultimate Survival Guide to Food Poisoning


To get revenge on the friends who fed you terrible things while you were intoxicated, why not check out SendShit.com.au?


To find out if you were, in fact, raised by wolves, head on over to Ancestry.com.au.

Tags
Show More
Advertisement www.dreamlandmagazineshop.com

Related Articles

We Want Your Opinion!

Close
%d bloggers like this:
Skip to toolbar