We Asked 47 Doofers For Their Best Drug Advice, Here’s What They Said (With GIFs)

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We asked, you answered. Here are the “best” pieces of drug advice* according to you, the doofing community:

*Please note, we do not advocate adopting the views expressed in this article. We are simply representing what other people say constitutes “good” advice. See bottom of article for serious links.


Practical pointers


1. “Only use them recreationally… and don’t try cocaine, you will like it and you can’t afford it.”
– Mum

2. “Eat, stay hydrated and sleep.”

3. “If it’s bitter, it’s a spitter (in relation to 25i tainted tabs).”

No shame in a cheeky spit.

4. “Psychedelics affect everyone differently and can result in a traumatising/psychosis-inducing experience if done wrong. You don’t have to do it for the sake of it just because people you know had a blast, it might just not mesh with your brain wiring well.”

That’s because you did.

5. “Know what you’re taking.”

We have the technology, people.

6. “Never take drugs… always pay for them!”

Don’t be that raccoon.

7. “Take half, wait for the effects before re-dose.”

Not ideal.

8. “Before you shelf a pill… take a really big shit.”

Go on, get it all out now honey.

9. “Don’t mix drugs.”

Yeah, he made it look cool, but he also killed himself, so there’s that.

10. “Wait 6 weeks between uses, talk to your peers and harm minimisation services, do not hesitate to seek help if acute or chronic issues.”

If you have a drug taking schedule, does that make you very responsible or super fucked up?

11. “Don’t share paraphernalia.”

… and that’s how I got herpes.

12. “Don’t talk about them on Facebook.”

… and that’s how mum found out I’m really into psychedelics.

13. “Always know who you’re getting your shit off, never ever buy off strangers or randoms.”

… not even if they’re wearing a suit.

14. “Make sure your friends know what you’ve taken and how much (just in case you end up in a situation where you are unable to tell paramedics what you have had).”

You may need your friends more than you realise.

15. “Less is more. You can always take more later if you want to, you can’t take less if you have too much now. Harm Reduction 101.”

This principle also applies to chilis.

16. “The more you fight it, the weirder it gets. Just go with it, it’ll be over soon – psychedelics are like a dream. Unless of course you’re a hardened psychopath, in which case don’t go with your urges.”

Probably don’t watch this movie either.

17. “Meth is bad.”

Actually great advice though.

18. “Don’t drink and do K. Don’t eat MD on SSRIs.”

FYI this is not professional medical advice.

19. “Test it.”

Every idiot who can’t be bothered picking up a kit.

20. “Definitely don’t mix DXM, MD and SSRIs.”

Also not professional medical advice.

21. “For psychedelics don’t try and hold onto reality, just let go and ride the waves to where they take you.”

Some things are best left unquestioned.

22. “Ask what it is before you decide to take it. Too many people ask what it was after they pull the straw away, not beforehand. Can be funny when you decide to have a joke and tell them, ‘It was heroin,’ then wait for their facial expression to change before you say, ‘Nah just kidding mate it was some molly.’ Never assume.”

You don’t want this.

23. “You pay more on the ‘floor.”

Is this true? You tell me.

24. “Know where a toilet or hole is.”

Or you could just invest in some of these bad boys.

Philosophical tips


25. “Drugs are bad, mmmkay?”

26. “Respect the drug.”

Tupac is the drugs.

24. “When you get the message hang up the phone.”

You gotta know when it’s time to put the banana suit away.

28. “Ignorance and isolation kill.”

When your mate brings you back from the brink.

29. “Do the drug, don’t let the drug do you.”

He did not take this advice on board.

30. “What goes up must come down, so enjoy the ride.”

What did you expect?

31.  “Drugs are supposed to enhance life, not be an escape for what’s wrong in it…”

We’ve all gotta grow up some time.

32. “Different strokes for different folks.”

Every time you try a new drug.

33. “Set & setting.”

I don’t know why this saying makes me think of the Last Supper.

34. “No-one here will be impressed if you take more or disappointed if you take less. You do you.”

When there’s no pressure to re-dose but the drugs make you feel like there is pressure so you do more pressure-inducing drugs to relieve the pressure.

35. “They are not the answer but the right ones make you question.”

Cheers for that, psychedelic Socrates.

Questionable guidance


37. “If it makes your stomach hurt or tastes bad, put it up your butt.”

If it also hurts to put up your butt, maybe re-evaluate your life choices.

38. “Let your dad try it first.”

And you thought your mates were annoying when high…

39.  “Not everyone comes back from mushrooms.”

This advice can really trip you out if you remember it while on mushrooms.

40. “Try everything while you’re young then quit.”

Yeah, nah.

41. “Weed, coke, MDMA  and you can’t go wrong.”

Once again, not medical advice. Not by a long shot.

42. “If a stranger gives you drugs take them because drugs are expensive.” / “If someone offers you drugs, say thank you.”

Because that’s how a lot of rape happens.

43. “Never take one. Better to be too high than not high enough.”

… and that’s how death happens.

44. “It’s not peer pressure, it’s just your turn.”

A compelling argument indeed.

45. “Give DMT a try.”

Just surrendering my consciousness to some drug demons, what could possibly go wrong?

46. “Do them at home.”

Yes, at home… far from judging eyes…

47. “Smoke crack and worship Satan.”

Those sweet moves in exchange for my soul? Seems reasonable.

To learn more about drugs, check out the Alcohol And Drug Foundation website, or just Google it.


To find out where to get pill testing kits, check out Where To Buy Pill Testing Kits In Every Aussie State.


To realise you sound like a fuckwit when telling people about seemingly profound psychedelic experiences for the thousandth time, head over to DMT User Finally Shuts Up About Ego Death 31 Years After First Hit.

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