Open Letter to Coles: Fuck Your Mini Shop Shit

Opinion

Dreamland Magazine Shop www.dreamlandmagazineshop.com

Hi, Coles – my formerly cherished purveyor of cheap organic goods,

I have a small enquiry to make of you: What the actual bejesus is wrong with your company?

It’s been truly heartwarming watching you pretend to care about the environment and future of humanity with your plastic bag ban these last few months. It’s just plain outrageous, however, to see you follow that oh-so-green notion up with the release of a series of “collectable” junky plastic figurines.

While I’m SO GLAD that your Sustainability Team found a new, even more, wasteful place to put all the plastic you’ve saved from the bag ban, might I suggest that they swap their weekly cheques (earned working out fun new ways to trash the world) for a reality check?

I know blackmailing people into shopping via their children is standard M.O. for companies these days, but could you dial down the blatant hypocrisy just a little?

It’s a lovely idea that your Coles Little Shop Mini Collectables are designed to be “long-lasting collectables that you can treasure for an extended period of time” (direct quote from Coles customer support) but we’re both aware that the majority of your deluded collectors, many of whom are children, are not going to treasure this junk. They will be forgotten and discarded by most within a month or two.

Sure, it is nice to think there will be fewer plastic bags wrapped around turtle heads. It’s not cute to know you’re filling landfills with millions of tiny plastic packets of Tim Tams, shoe polish and even-more-disposable than actual disposable nappy figurines instead.

And all this is just to meet the very enviro-friendly promotional aim of getting people to buy more shit that inevitably comes wrapped in single-use plastic.

Much like their crappy collectables, the idiots who cooked up this campaign are useless, forgettable and dangerous to the continuation of this planet.

I hope your company gets what it deserves.

Yours sincerely,

A pissed-off plastic pedant xo

Show More
Advertisement www.dreamlandmagazineshop.com

Related Articles

One Comment

  1. Do you know what toys are, you mean old grinchy scrooge? Kids love these things. The world cannot stop turning just because you don’t like a thing that up till yesterday the entire world has been in love with.

We Want Your Opinion!

Close
%d bloggers like this:
Skip to toolbar